You Have 7 Days

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.

It’s always been my philosophy that Thanksgiving is for doing absolutely nothing productive and eating delicious food until you burst. So in that spirit, I spent my Thanksgiving break back home hanging out with my family, gorging on my mother’s recepies, and playing a Nintendo DS game.

This blog post is about the game that I spent probably 20 hours on this break.
——

Subject: The World Ends With You
2008 Nintendo DS  role-playing game developed by the Kingdom Hearts team at Square Enix and Jupiter.
Set in modern Tokyo, in the Shibuya shopping district.
Uses a dual-screen battling system that involves controlling two characters at once with buttons and the DS stylus.
Critically acclaimed and commercially successful, winning the IGN.com Nintendo DS Game of the Year award and ranking 89% at GameRankings.
Links:
The World Ends With You – Official North American Website
Wikipedia – The World Ends With You
TWEWY Wiki
Music from The World Ends With You – IMeem

The World Ends With You is simultaneously an anamoly in the modern RPG genre and also somewhat formulaic. Rather than featuring an angsty protagonist with a weird haircut in a magical fantasy realm that may or may not be the home of classic Disney characters, it features an angsty protagonist with a weird haircut in a present-day major city.

Pick it up, Phones!

The plot follows Neku Sakuraba, a 15-year-old who rejects the idea of friendships and relationships, finding people to be a drag in several senses of the word. He finds himself stuck in “The Reaper’s Game” set in the invisible “Underground” dimension of the Shibuya Tokyo district, which exists alongside the “Realground.” In order to escape The Reaper’s Game, he has to accomplish certain tasks while battling the requisite RPG critters, here called “Noise.” Ironically, Noise can only be battled in pairs, meaning Neku has to have a partner throughout The Reaper’s Game.

As you can probably guess, he learns a valuable lesson about friends, partnership, and forming relationships.

Along the way, he meets teammates of varying levels of tolerance. His first partner is Shiki Misaki, an aspiring designer who apparently has never been to a school with any sort of guidelines for miniskirt-decency. They quickly run into Beat and Rhyme, another pair of “Players.” Beat is an embarrasingly dense wigger and Rhyme is the lovably loyal sweetheart. Later on, Neku meets Joshua, an insufferably smug, but powerful Player.

A few singular personalities emerge among Neku’s enemies, as well. They run the gamut through simply power-hungry, coldly cruel, and strangely effiminate. Perhaps the most entertaining “Reaper” is Sho Minamimoto, who inexplicably builds huge trash heaps and engages in terrible math puns in his banter. Involved in the entire game is also the classic mentor figure, in the form of semi-hipster coffee barista, Mr. Hanekoma.

You're outta your vector!

The cast of characters tends to harp on several familiar RPG stereotypes, but does a good job utilizing the script to make them more interesting. Beat, for example, is almost offensive in his prototypical know-nothing skater silliness, but manages to grow on the player after hearing more of his backstory.

However, the game does the characters no favors in its inclusions of sound bytes during battle sequences and cutscenes. Whatever the player feels about the Joshua character, everyone probably grinds his teeth whenever Josh emits that smug giggle. The repetitive soundbytes for the fight gameplay can also be grating, but comes to serve as sort of a rhythmic metronome, for anyone who appreciates that sort of thing. Either way, you’ll be too distracted scratching away at the DS screen to notice much.

As for the gameplay itself, this may be one of the most enjoyable ways to play an RPG yet. Rather than following the tried-and-tired turn-based formula, TWEWY plays in real-time, compelling the player to furiously slash, push, and circle with the stylus while mashing the right buttons. After a particularly difficult boss battle, a player may feel like he just finished a fusion attack himself.

Neku plays on the bottom screen by using “psychs” that are unleashed by pins he collects throughout the game. The psychs are used by making specific motions with the stylus on the screen, and include slashing an enemy or drawing a ring around a group to mark them for meteoric extermination. The pins are the equivalent of spells and abilities in other games. You can equip a limited amount before entering a battle, so if you end up in a fight with some crappy pins, you might be facing the Game Over screen. Luckily, TWEWY also removes the random battle RPG staple, opting for a system where Neku can “scan” for enemies and, for most of the game, select the size of the Noise he challenges. This means you’ll usually be prepared for every battle you face.

Uh...I feel like the lower half of her body should be illegal even by Japense standards.

The top screen is dedicated to Neku’s partner, controlled by either the D-pad or the ABXY buttons. Their controls are deceptively simple, boiling down to pressing left or right, depending on where the enemy is. The catch is that attacks are more successful when the right “path” of buttons is selected in a certain order. For example, Shiki usually has three possible paths ending in three card symbols. Reveal the cards in the right order a couple times and you’ll unlock a powerful fusion attack that spans both screens (sort of like a summon). These attacks prove invaluable in restoring health and picking off particularly tough enemies. Adding to the timing and finesse, a green “puck” will be passed between Neku and his partner. Whoever has the green light will unleash more damage during their attack

Everyone has a tough time getting the hang of controlling both characters at once. The good news is that it starts to make sense by the time you’re wrapping up the first chapter of the game. The bad news is that the game throws a wrench into the learning curve by adding new partners with slightly different methods of unlocking fusions. Honestly, by the end of the game, I was just mashing buttons, knowing that eventually it would result in a fusion. TWEWY also gives you the option of letting the game control your partner, although you’ll probably find button-mashing slightly more effective, or at least cathartic.

On the whole, it was a lot of fun to try out different psychs and power up as many pins as I could. There’s a large variety of individual pins, but they all basically come to represent a limited number of “psychs,” a.k.a. stylus strokes. For example, you’ll quickly max out your first “drag across the screen to create fire” pin, but you can find at least two other pins that do the same thing, with higher damage. It’s also a lot of fun to exert energy pressing buttons and frantically using the stylus, but it’s a killer cramp on your hands if you play for hours on end.

The other major element of gameplay has to do with a twist on the RPG-equipment system. The clothing the characters can equip and most of your pins are trademarked by a certain “brand,” an incorporation of Shibuya’s shopping-madness. You’ll come to know the map of Shibuya pretty well traversing around the game, but each section of the district experiences changing “trends” in popular brands. This means that your equipment and pins will be affected by the flavor-of-the-day. If their brands rank in the top 3, you’ll get a boost in your attack, defense and pin abilities. But woe for the fashion-challenged who enter battle with the bottom-ranked brand, as they’ll find their power halved.

Are you starting to get the feeling that these character designs are impossibly proportioned?

I actually found this aspect of the game a lot of fun, as it forced me to think about the items I slapped on my characters, rather than just looking at the stats and abilities. It also adds a bit of variety to the requisite grinding you have to do in an RPG game (battling lower-level enemies to raise your own characters’ power). However, trying to get the most out of the brand system requires a lot of shopping in Shibuya’s shops, which means a lot of yen. The solution to this is the ability to lower your health-point level when entering battle, which obviously makes the battle more difficult, but results in a lot more pins and cash being dropped after a fight.

TWEWY is a design-heavy game, with a lot of attention given to the art direction, which shows in the comic-book style cutscenes. But some of the most enjoyable artistic muscle-flexing comes in the form of the music, which is a constant presence in the game. Admittedly, you will hear several of the main themes many, many times, the the point where it becomes background noise. Also, this isn’t exactly Timbaland-produced licensed music. The soundtrack dabbles in the type of garage rock and cocky hip hop that gamers have come to be familiar with. But, despite the seemingly kitc hsy approach, you find the music infectious when you close the DS. Again, rather than dipping into the standard flutes-and-chimes of fantasy RPG games, composer Takeharu Ishimoto has employed a range of modern genres popular in Japan. It’s not Queen or Mozart, but it’s catchy and different.

Ultimately, The World Ends With You probably won’t win new fans for the RPGs among veteran gamers. If you’re entrenched in your avoidance of the genre, preferring platformers or first person shooters, you may still find some frustration in the amount of time you have to dedicate to levelling up and customizing stats to be successful. Depending on your tolerance for cutscenes and dramatic fantasy, the story sequences may not be your cup of tea either. But for anyone approaching RPGs with an open-mind or who is simply a bored gamer willing to try anything, TWEWY will be a nice surprise, I think. As for the Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, crowd…well, you’ve probably already played this game and odds are, it ranks pretty highly.

I suppose I dedicated my time at home to beating this game, because the plot really was compelling, despite some silly dialogue and simple video game tropes. I beat it in three days, spending late nights getting to the next chapter of the story. I actually was expecting an entirely new chapter before realizing I was nearing the final boss, and while I was glad that I could beat it in the time I had, I would have been totally game for another “7 days.” TWEWY adds some easter eggs after beating the game, but the ending carries enough closure and bombshells to keep you digesting for days.

Here’s hoping the Powers that Be take more leaves from this book and are inspired to make more inspired settings for their classic genres as well as adding innovative gameplay. The World Ends With You gets 9 out of 10 Tin Pins.

Top 4 Dining Hall Disposal Offenses

Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)

Anybody out there (out there? out there? out there?)?

Okay, it’s Thanksgiving Break and my workload, while sizable, seems manageable. So let’s bring PtP out of the coma for a while before exams. Unfortunately, my brain isn’t capable of tackling major issues like the healthcare bill or the terrorist trials in New York City (in sum: cautious pessimism and Republicans can suck it, the trial’s just for show anyway).

Instead, in honor of ending my dish washing days in one of Virginia Tech’s largest dining halls, I’m going to describe several things college students do to be general Dicks to dishwashing staff and the environment.
——

I spent a little over two months working in the dish room of West End Market. It was…tiring. I mean, there are worse jobs, in theory. But the shifts I was working combined with the general aversion I have toward being involved in the process of feeding people was definitely a downer on my workplace satisfaction.

In general, I find mass feeding operations to be vile. Virginia Tech has over 25,000 students eligible for a meal plan and the only restriction is whether you’re intelligent enough to realize that, without the 50% on-campus discount, you’re paying an obscene mark-up for the convenience of eating London Broil in between classes. But the real revulsion is a the simple result of numbers: Floods of students, thinking only about their own stomachs, lining up for collective hours to eat the same meals day after day after day. Literally tons of food are transported, processed, prepared, served, discarded, digested, and pooped out.

And to make sure that we don’t spread Norovirus or lose critical acclaim, every employee has to be the clean-shaven, sterilized customer’s bitch.

That’s like telling me I have to call the cow meandering over to graze on some cud “sir.”

Would you like me to pre-chew that gum for you, sir?

But, oh well, people have to eat.

But they don’t have to be dicks about it.

Here are the top things West End Market visitors do that pissed me off.

1. Order styrofoam “For Here”

When a register monkey asks you “for here” or “to go,” your response is meant to imply your intention with the consumption of that food. Will you eat it in the dining hall? In that case, they’ve got some lovely plates for you to eat off of. They’ve been scrubbed, powerwashed and dried for your convenience. Do you need to take the food back to your dormitory to catch Jeopardy? Well, the dining hall can provide you with a styrofoam box which, while unfortunately terrible for the environment, will keep your food warm on the journey back.

I’m pretty sure the intention wasn’t for you to simply take the styrofoam box inside the dining hall and then leave it for the dishwashers to throw away, you morons.

This is what a dishwasher has to do with the boxes: Grab them off the conveyer line, rip off the tops, dig through your leftovers to find the silverware you used and then stuff the styrofoam into the trash can, piling them several boxes high. Literally, the bulk of the trash that leaves West End Market is styrofoam. It goes off to a landfill, never to biodegrade, never to be reused, just taking up space. And for what? So you could feel like you had a bigger portion (because you don’t)? So you didn’t have to deal with the heaviness of a plate, Mr. I Can Bench 350? WHY? WHY would you order “to go” if you’re just going to sit your ass down and talk about your boring-ass day with your bros or your stupid sorority girlfriend? WHY? Do you HATE Planet Earth? Like, are you doing it on PURPOSE? There is no good reason to order styrofoam “for here.” You’re just being cruel.

But, as I mentioned, there’s a special class of For-Here Styrofoam Asshole. And that’s the guy who…

2. Sticks Silverware INSIDE Styrofoam boxes

So you’ve decided to take a crap on Mother Nature and order Styrofoam for here. But that’s not enough. You’ve decided to take part in a practice that wastes the time of any Dish person working the line. Rather than going a step further in non bio-degradable waste and dealing with the inconvenience of opening the to-go plastic fork-and-knife pack, you’re going to pick up silverware and use that to eat. And then what are you going to do with it? Are you going to place it on top of the box, for the Dish person to pick up and set aside?

No.

No, you’ve decided that you hate the people working in dish. So you’re going to leave the silverware inside the box, forcing the person on the line to dig through your meat-sauce and mushroom-gravy remains to find the pieces of metal that can’t be discarded. And it’s not just a select few idiots who do this. ALMOST EVERYONE WHO GETS STYROFOAM “FOR HERE” PUTS THEIR SILVERWARE IN THE BOX. It’s like 85 percent. It’s like you all had an ASSHOLE convention and decided that this was the optimal way to fuck with the environment AND the person throwing away your leftovers.

Oh, and then there’s always the considerate douchebag who sticks his fork and knife into the styrofoam box as if they formed Excalibur in the fucking stone. There. Now you know that there’s silverware in there and you don’t have to rummage through saliva. You know what? THAT’S NOT HELPFUL. The silverware just gets stuck in the conveyer belt, making it difficult to extract. It’s also not fun to have to pull that crap out of there. What? Do you think styrofoam is smooth like butter? You’re STILL AN ASSHOLE, King Arthur.

3. Waste Food

I get it. It’s not your money. Mommy and Daddy paid for your meal plan and they’ll probably also pay for your additional Flex dollars, after you splurge on $30 of DX food while suffering from the drunken munchies.

Does it really justify throwing away almost all your food?

There are two huge culprits at West End Market for food waste. One is the Bread Bowl Soups. They’re significantly more expensive than just soup-in-a-bowl. That’s because it’s a huge freaking loaf of gourmet bread filled with soup. But, apparently, you think you’re paying for some special, magic ingredient that makes the soup twice as expensive and has nothing to do with the bread, because you fucking LEAVE THE WHOLE LOAF, stained with chilli sauce and vegetable broth. WHAT. THE. FUCK?

The second even worse offender is the goddamn salad. I have scraped away more lettuce bits and cherry tomatoes than money wasted by the federal government. THAT’S A LOT OF FREAKING SALAD. Seriously, they’re practically untouched! It looks like the ONLY thing that’s been done to the salad is that it’s been doused in honey mustard or ranch dressing. What, is this like an art project for you? Are you just spreading the dressing around because you’re bored?

I know EXACTLY what’s going on there. Some stupid Tri-Delt is “on a diet” and orders the Grilled Chicken Salad. She proceeds to gobble the chicken, smothered in calorie-rich dressing. She sniffs around at the vegetables and maybe eats a leaf or two. She decides she’s not hungry. So she proceeds to THROW AWAY THE SALAD and then goes and splurges on ice cream or fried chicken fingers with fries (of which she will also throw half away). Then she’ll wonder while she’s bouncing on her treadmill why that small pouch of fat just won’t go away and she’ll consider simply puking it away. Meanwhile, I’m on the other side of that conveyer belt horrified at the fifty gardens I’m tossing just because some BITCH is obsessing over what meal will make her look good in her SLUT UNIFORM for this weekend’s party.

ARRRRRRRGH!

4. Bring in outside food and put it on the conveyer belt

You know what West End doesn’t serve? Cinnabon. You know what else it doesn’t serve? Chick Fil-A. At least those two are on campus. But you know what else it doesn’t serve? CHINESE TAKE-OUT. WENDY’S. PAPA JOHN’S. D.P. DOUGH. NONE of these are served in the restaurant and yet ALL of these find their way onto the West End conveyer belt. WHY? You just HAD to meet your friends in the dining hall? You couldn’t have stuffed your face alone for fifteen minutes and caught up with them later? What, do you have some spiritual connection related to food that prevents you from not being a huge dick and giving me additional trash to dispose of?

Listen, I understand that there are no trash cans in West End. But there are trash cans OUTSIDE West End. Why not just take a few additional steps and throw it away there? It’s the principle of the thing. I was hired by public tax dollars to dispose of food that was paid for by Virginia Tech. I wasn’t hired to be some other company’s dumpster-man. So why don’t you take your Thank You Thank You Thank You bag and stuff it somewhere-freaking-else, because I’m already up to my EYEBALLS in styrofoam and food waste and I don’t have to deal with your half-eaten Lo Mein on top of that.

Those are the top offenses that will stick with me forever. It’s simple math, I suppose. The larger the operation, the bigger propensity for a customer base to act Troll-ish. But, please, if you’re a Tech student and you’re reading this, consider your actions. Not only are you being criminally negligent to the environment, but you’re also PISSING off other students, peers, human beings. Let me break it down for you.

1. Don’t order “To-Go” when you intend to eat in the dining hall.
2. If you’re going to insist, then put your damn silverware FLAT and ON TOP of the box when you put it on the conveyer box.
3. Eat your damn food. It’s in the box anyway, take it back to your room, offer it to a hobo, do SOMETHING besides giving it to me to throw away.
4. Toss your outside food OUTSIDE

And if you’re that wonderful person who manages to put a styrofoam box with silverware deep inside a complete salad next to a Cinnabon box, then you are a bad person. And not like a, “Oh, Paul, he’s kind of an asshole, but he’s still fun and cool” bad person, but you’re worse than freakin’ Saddam Hussein. You are seriously psychotic and should be put away. Who taught you to behave that way? What Satanist manual tells you to just wave your genitals in the face of everything decent and reasonable?

I quit being a dishwasher. And 50% of the reason is people who don’t even bother pretending to be decent.

Let the Thanksgiving blogging continue!

Fort Hood and VT: Nothing’s in the water. Back the **** off.

You know, a guy tries to take a break….get his life in order…take a breather from railing against the stupidity of the common man.

And then the common man has to pull some of his stupidest tripe yet.

This is a blog post about Major Nidal Malik Hasan and the tragedy at the Fort Hood military base. And about Virginia Tech’s most excellent luck in becoming the object of speculation for the logically handicapped.

Subject: Nidal Malik Hasan
Major and psychiatrist in the United States Army
First suspect in November 5, 2009 shooting at the Fort Hood, Texas army post, leaving 13 dead and 30 wounded
Currently detained and hospitalized
Reportedly attempted to halt his pending deployment to Iraq (perhaps Afghanistan)
Had recently expressed hopes that President Barack Obama would withdraw all troops from the wars
Cousin described him a a “good American” who had experienced harassment from fellow soldiers for his Muslim background
Received a medical degree from the Uniformed Services University of Health Sciences in Bethesda, Md. in 2003.
Was an undergraduate at Virginia Tech. Received his biochemistry degree in 1995
UPDATE: The Washington Post and Roanoke Times report that Tech has no record of Hasan in the Corps of Cadets/ROTC.
A second suspect is being interrogated at the time of this post.
Links:
AP: Troubling portrait emerges of Fort Hood suspect
Wikipedia: Fort Hood shooting
NPR: Massacre leaves 13 dead at Fort Hood
Crooks and Liars: Wingnuts rush to conclusions about Fort Hood shooter
Virginia Tech: Facts about Hasan’s time at VT

—-

So, it first showed up as a breaking news banner on my homepage. At this point, I’m desensitized enough to atrocities that news about a shooting on a military base didn’t stir me to read any of the stories. I headed to the common room of my old residence hall to watch Virginia Tech beat East Carolina University. I figured the football game would be the only Tech-related news of the evening.

When Dino mentioned the college paper’s re-report of Major Hasan’s Virginia Tech background, I was uneasy about what the media would do with that tidibt of information.

On the extreme off chance that you aren’t aware, my university was the scene for one of the deadliest campus shootings in April 2007. 32 people, including my dorm mate and my professor were killed. About 21 months later, an international graduate student was murdered in our graduate center, sparking local media attention. At the beginning of this semester, two undergraduates were found murdered while hiking on a trail. This past month, a Tech student went missing at a Metallica concert in Charlottesville.

So, as you can see, that little nugget of information was exactly what our community needed.

Well, besides the seemingly irrelevant mentions at the end of articles and NPR radio-casts about Hasan being a Tech alum, so far, the media doesn’t seem to be making as much about his college background as his religious background.

So, for now, the media doesn’t seem to be waving the sensationalist Virginia Tech connection flag as senselessly as….people on Twitter.

And as much as I want to believe that the people I’m finding on Twitter are statistical anomalies, stupider than the norm….I’m afraid I have to admit that this is probably what the average American is thinking when they read mentions of Virginia Tech in this latest news:

“Wow man the latest shooting rampage was from a Virginia Tech Alum. Why are so many of these shooting connected to this school man”

“i b it is obvious to much negative activity coming from Virginia tech? shooters have common issues.”

“Is it ironic that the shooter from @Ft. Hood was a Virginia Tech grad? VT sure has been gettin a lot of bad publicity.”

“Alleged Fort Hood shooter a graduate of, you guessed it, Virginia Tech. Sad.”

“What’s with Virginia Tech? They produce a lot of crazed shooters.”

“Yo what da hell is wrong wit people from Virginia Tech?!?! 1st da kid shootin up da school now dis crzy dude at da military base”

“HA! I called it before I even read it.The guy graduated from Virginia Tech. Hasan is Seung-Hui Cho 2.0(what is it w/ that college N weirdos)”

“Wait… the Fort Hood shooter went to Virginia Tech? What the fuck is in the water there???”

“Okay, I’m convinced that Virginia Tech is the hellmouth.”

. . . .

Spot the flaw in logic.

Assuming Hasan was the shooter, this would make it the SECOND instance of a Virginia Tech student or alum participating in a mass shooting. It would be the third instance in almost three years of a VT student or grad participating in a homicide. So when the Tweeter says “so many shootings,” he means two. When a Tweeter says “a lot of crazed shooters,” he means two. And I’m not trying to downplay the tragedy and horror of these events. Trust me on that. But I don’t appreciate this perception that we’re pumping out “shooters” or murderers left and right.

Okay, but it’s a very strange coincidence, isn’t it?

Let’s play a game called Find a Pattern.

In May of this year, Sgt. John Russell shot 5 of his fellow soldiers in a base in Iraq.

In October of 1991, George Jo Hennard, a man who was discharged from the United States Merchant Marine, drove into a Texas cafe and killed 22 people. Fort Hood is right next to the city of Killeen where the massacre took place.

In 1996, United States Army veteran Timothy McVeigh bombed the Alfred P. Murrah Building in Oklahoma. He dropped out of Bryant & Stratton College. His accomplice, Terry Nichols, was also ex-Army. He dropped out of Central Michigan University.

See a pattern here?

“Wow, what is up with all of these military guys shooting up Americans?”

“Whoa, what is it with ALL of these Killeen, Texas massacres? There must be something in the water turning the people into mass murderers!”

“Careful, that guy is a college dropout. Those ALL turn out to be psychopathic killers.”

Oh, but we don’t say that, do we? It makes more sense to assume that the trigger here is going to Virginia Tech, particularly when this second high-profile case happened fourteen years after the suspect graduated. Yeah, I’m sure he had Virginia Tech on the mind the whole time. Not the psychological issues he was having with being a Muslim about to be deployed to kill Muslims. Not the stress he was reportedly under by people who were scared of his religion and race.

I’m not defending the guy and his actions are despicable, but use your damn heads.

Something between 16,000 and 18,000 people are killed by homicide in the United States per year. There are over 4,000 colleges and universities in the United States. Does it stand to reason that some of these murderers might ALSO HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE?

Oh, but these are "safe schools.

In fact, what happens if you start to dig on the internet for murders at some of America’s top universities?

Is it possible that there have been multiple incidents at universities across the country?

Annie Le, 2009 – Yale University
2009 Harvard drug murder – Harvard University
Eve Carson, 2008 – University of North Carolina
Laura Dickinson, 2006 – Eastern Michigan University
Kathleen Roskot, 2000 – Columbia University
Hyeseung Lynda Hong, 2000 - Columbia University
Loretta Long and Patrick Pryor, 1999 – Ohio State University
Suzanne Jovin, 1998 – Yale University
Osama Hassan, 1998 – University of Virginia
Sinedu Tadesse & Trang Phuong Ho, 1995 – Harvard University
Betsy Aardsma, 1969 – Penn State University
Penn State Professor Murders 3, 1965

Well, yeah, but Virginia Tech is CRAZY, because it had the worst massacre in American history on its campus. That shit doesn’t happen at other schools.

Wait, except campus shootings claiming multiple lives have happened at:

University of Texas at Austin, 1966
Kent State University, Ohio, 1970
University of Iowa,1991
San Diego State, 1996
University of Arkansas, 2000
Failing University of Arizona Nursing College, 2002
Virginia Appalachian School of Law, 2002
Shepherd University, 2006

And since Virginia Tech? Don’t tell me that I imagined our campaign to support Northern Illinois University after their shooting.

So, yeah.

Virginia Tech.

Something in the water.

Be honest with yourselves. The reason people feel like they can get away with saying “going Virginia Tech” on something ever since “going Columbine” became passé, is because our massacre happened in the midst of the 24-hour cable news media craze. Statistically, we had the highest number of casualties. But, really, do you think that terror and suffering of that magnitude is quantifiable? Do you really think that you can compare what happened to us against what happened to any of the communities listed above as “better” or “worse?”

No.

We lost 32 people. We were sieged by the television stations for days. Our murderer fed into people’s xenophobia and perceptions of a true killer with his infamous video. We were the perfect storm. And THAT’S why people associate us with this shit.

There are over 20,000 students attending Virginia Tech. We have hundreds of faculty and staff. Blacksburg, Virginia is the largest town in the state, with around 40,000 residents. Bad stuff happens. Just like it happens across the country. Why? Because we are representative of mainstream American culture, the good and the bad.

We have some racial disparity. We like sports. We have a war of the intellectual versus the anti-intellectual. We’re run by a bureaucracy. We’re stressed. We’re better fed than our peers. And occasionally, some bad eggs pop up. But it doesn’t negate the majority of good that we have at this school. It doesn’t negate the thousands of dollars we contribute to causes like cancer research and helping the poor in local and international communities. It doesn’t negate the academic progress we make. It doesn’t negate the fact that most students you’d talk to love this school.

If you want to look for a reason that Hasan snapped. Or a even a reason that Cho snapped. Take a look at the country. That is what we are. That is where you’ll find the demons. Not on our campus. And not among all of our students.

If I had to guess, I’d say it looks like Hasan was caught in between loyalty to his country and loyalty to his people. His faith. Here was a man who didn’t want to actually fight this war, in which many innocent Muslims die. A man who was expecting this war to end. A man who was witnessing his culture and religion get smeared among his compatriots and the national discourse.

As the Army spins this story, pay attention to how many more “details” about his Muslim heritage start to pop up. Consider this. Initial articles say that Hasan was linked to forum postings where he allegedly compared suicide bombers to soldiers launching themselves on grenades. Now, the reports just say that he was “linked to online posts about suicide bombings.” Googling news of the shooting now brings up the highly relevant headlines that Hasan shouted “Allah Akbar” before shooting. Okay…is it news if a guy yells “God is great” before killing? Maybe. But it’s certainly not the most important detail.

And you know how people will start reacting to “Allah Akbar.”

The fact that the media knows exactly what strings to pull to get the ignorant populace to fixate on this story should give you reason to pause before you start making your Sherlock Holmes deductions about Virginia Tech and violence.

Get some perspective. Stop being douchebags. And, unless you’re participating in some friendly football game-talk, leave us the hell alone.

Congrats on the win tonight, Hokies.

And remember, no matter how many stupid remarks fall out of the Twitterverse.

Ut Prosim.

Guestblog: My National Pasttime No More

A reminder that while I’m on hiatus, you can still contact me about guest-blogging. Here’s the return of our much beloved Heathcliff on a relevant topic, following the Yankees’ win of the World Series (sorry, Heath). – The Pill

—-

When I was in middle school I wanted nothing more than to be a professional baseball player. I didn’t care what level, so long as I got to play baseball everyday. When I was younger I was not athletic (not that I am now either). I was slow, had white man’s disease, and was relatively uncoordinated. I spent much of my youth not playing football, almost never scoring at basketball, and making 0 goals in my soccer career. Then came baseball.

What a blessing baseball was. For no reason in particular, I was good at hitting a baseball. All of a sudden, I was good at a sport! Every time I hit third in the batting order it was as if the sports gods thought I had suffered enough and had decided that I was indeed worthy of athletic glory. This was a real boon considering sports often serve as a boy’s rites of passage, and I quickly became obsessed with baseball.

It was then that I found out what makes baseball great. It is also the exact thing people criticize it for: you don’t need an ounce of athleticism to play it professionally. All that matters is whether you excel in a very specific skill, in particular hitting. That worked out well for me, not only because I have a slightly obsessive tendencies, but also because I am as athletic as you would expect the son of an engineer to be. (Thank you, Stucki genes.)

Essentially I saw baseball as the sport of athletic misfits. Which is not to say many great athletes have not played baseball (Willie Mays, Bo Jackson, Deion Sanders) but that some guys who play baseball just couldn’t play another sport professionally much less ride a bike for more than ten minutes. But as I dug deeper into baseball I found that it is not only a home for athletic misfits, it is the center of a whole culture of eccentrics.

No major sport boasts fans that are bigger nerds – probably because no other sport is as easily quantifiable – or has a longer list of weirdos who have played the game. When I learned about those weirdo players, such as Yogi Berra or Mark Fidrych, not only did the fact that they were lanky and/or slow encourage me, they were also ridiculously goofy. (Mark Fidrych used to talk to the ball before pitching and everybody knows Yogi.) My athletic and emotional peers! I felt very at home with baseball.

Then everything changed. Baseball is not the sport of goofballs and loners anymore. The best athletes in the world play baseball now. Yes, you can still be fat and smoke five packs a day and play in the majors, but you can’t be a fielder and you’d better be a damn good pitcher. It is also no longer the sport where hard work, rather than pure athleticism, will get you to the big leagues. That illusion died when it became apparent that everyone and their general manager was on everything from HGH to Adrenochrome. Baseball then became the sport of cheaters.

I think a lot of the blame lies with the money involved in the sport. The incentives to play professional baseball are ridiculous. Of American sports leagues, the MLB had the second highest median salary in 2009 (to the NBA, where far fewer athletes play) and its highest paid players match up with the NFL and NBA (including the highest paid professional athlete including only money guaranteed in his contract, Alex Rodriguez – at least as far as I can tell). With so much money to give away, it is hardly surprising that so many players take steroids to help them get in on a piece of the pie. Salary caps could be put in a place, but that wouldn’t solve the problem: baseball just can’t compete with the NFL anymore.

Baseball will never be able to match the visceral appeal of football. Because of my general lack of athleticism, I prefer to watch sports that I can play and could conceivably be good at. Football is not one of those sports. I know that even if I started training from the moment I popped out of my mom’s womb, I would never have a chance at playing professional football. I just don’t have the fire nor the physical skills. So it’s really hard for me to get into a football game (amongst other reasons). Baseball on the other hand, I could watch for days. I am drawn to the personalities involved with the game, the highly detailed nature of each moment, and the lack of inaction that gives me a chance to think about how damn much I love baseball. Football is pounding and fast-happening, while baseball flows along like a small creek. But creeks aren’t where the money is at.

Watch the ads for the World Series or, better yet, just take a look at the jacked people out on the field. Baseball is no longer the lazy man’s game. It is as musclebound and testosterone filled (perhaps artificially) as football now. But the action will never be able to compare! Baseball is simply too cerebral (and I use that word only to contrast with visceral) to ever capture people on the merit of its moments of action the way football does. Yet, the marketing is designed to compete with football. The players could be playing football. Everything about it screams action. Except the nature of the game itself.

Baseball will always hold a special place in my heart because it is the game of misfits. But as my friend said, it’s no longer possible to have an opinion on the sport. The baseball statistics which I was so intimately attached to as a kid have been developed to the extreme. Everything is much more uniform than it used to be. It is known exactly (exactly enough, anyway) what needs to be done to make a team win. And it is also known exactly what kind of mechanics need to be taught in order to achieve those results. If you dissent from the majority opinion it is likely that you are wrong. The money only perverts things further as the stakes are now so high that deviating from the norm is simply too costly as it will likely result in failure. This trend manifests itself in the majors but also all the way down to youth baseball leagues where the same mechanics are taught all across the nation. The aspects that drew me to baseball are being erased, which is fine and natural, but it is hard to watch. I think it is also bad business for baseball, but, as the salaries seem to be indicating, I’m probably wrong on that front.

I guess the reason I no longer want to be a baseball player is that I know I can’t do it. I’m too slow, too lazy, and would simply hate it too much. That doesn’t mean I won’t totally stop watching baseball though. The drama and intricacies are still there, they always will be, but the illusion of innocence is gone. Which is not to say that I think the guys are all there to cash their paychecks. But if I didn’t think the money was a huge factor in their playing baseball, I’d be kidding myself. At the end of the day playing baseball professionally means more to many of the players than the integrity of the game, which is not so much a comment on the players themselves as it is on the sorry state of baseball in general. If baseball could suddenly be teleported back to its state in the 1940s – when salaries were lower, when statistics were less developed, when the pressure wasn’t as high – then I’d watch every day. Until that happens, which will probably be never, I’ll continue to watch periodically and ruminate on the good old days that I wasn’t even there for.

Frickin’ Politics

So, this is my first post in a while.

It’s not going to be a very good one.

The busy-ness of the semester has resulted in a hiatus for Phil the Pill. As much as I’d like to sit down everyday and deconstruct the news, there is too much going on this semester to keep it up daily. Hopefully, next semester, I’ll be able to set aside time for daily posts.

But tonight I woke up with a nasty cold and slept the entire day. When I woke up at 9:30, McDonell had won, so I figured I should vent somewhere.

I’m not as annoyed with McDonnell winning as I am with the media coverage that led up to it. I don’t know for a fact that the obsession over polling and tracking in the weeks leading up to the election had an impact on the vote. But I do know that, as a journalist, I find “election preview” news stories, especially for local races, to be a waste of time.

Virginia is for Christian, heterosexual, at least $250,000 a year lovers.

I could give a steamy crap over whether the media thinks this is a referendum on Obama. It may be piqued-up Republican mobilization. But I don’t see the basis for assuming that this is symptomatic of America “falling out of love” with the President.

Ugh. Just ugh. So much for “liberal media.”

I also can’t stand the idea of people listening to this blather and incorporating it into their perceived political knowledge. “Oh, didn’t you hear? Republicans are resurging. And Obama’s popularity is sinking terribly. He must not be doing a good job.”

I’m not saying I’m the biggest fan of the man’s presidency. I just wish the news would actually focus on what HAPPENS. Not on their predictions on what will happen. And I don’t need political analysis on the front page of Yahoo! News every week of the year. Leave the punditry to a couple hours on the news networks and the uppity bloggers.

When I launch PtP TV, most of the coverage will be for news happening around the world during election season. I won’t waste my time gleefully crafting this dramatic power play among the political parties. That is, by far, the least interesting part of the news.

That was your head-cold rant for the month. Updates will be infrequent until December, when I hope to get back to daily updates.

The Case For and Against Dan Meier

The word community gets thrown around so much that it begins to lose its meaning. In this case, I’m referring to the construct of a geographic and cultural area composed of a variety of inhabitants. In our popular media, it is portrayed as a wonderful, inspiring reality — an ideal of loyalty to your fellow man and a support system that launches fortunate sons and daughters into prosperity.

But those of us who have chosen to look at life with a critical eye know that community can be a burden as well.

This blog post is one of those that relates to one of my local communities. I make very few of them, but when I do, they usually have to do with Virginia Tech, which has become the community I identify with the most.

But as much as I’m focused on redefining myself from who I was in high school and as much as I’d sometimes like to bury my teenage years in the suburbs of Northern Virginia behind me, the past couple of days have demonstrated that sometimes your communities have a pull on you. It’s a tie that for some is difficult to break. If you talk big talk about social responsibilities, moral imperatives and a duty to truth and justice, you can’t, in good conscience, simply shrug off the events that rock the communities of your past.

This is a blog post about my old high school principal, Daniel Meier, the trap he seems to have fallen into and the unfortunate tendency for civilized people to tear each other apart in the pressure-cooker of suburbia. It’s also a post about how digging deeper put things in perspective for yours truly.

Here’s what I’ve been able to piece together so far, with help from a contact or two:

—-

Subject: Daniel Meier

Principal of James W. Robinson Secondary School in Fairfax, Virginia
Fairfax is one of the richest counties in the country and Robinson is one of the largest International Baccalaureate schools in the world, with a total of almost 5,000 students.
Meier was recently sued for fraud in a case that involved the re-sale of unimproved property at inflated prices through the Total Realty Management Company, run by Meier’s former student at Chantilly High School, Mark Dain.
Meier was considered a “TRM spokesperson” who referred the plaintiffs to the company and allegedly received referral fees and speakers fees numbering in the thousands of dollars. Meier had also reportedly purchased two properties from TRM.
Meier filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy by the time of an August 28 Alexandria Court decision. TRM went into involuntary bankruptcy.
That court dismissed all charges against the Defendants, citing insufficient information to state a claim.
On October 18, 2009, the Washington Examiner, a right-wing tabloid-news publication broke the story with the headline “Teachers, principals caught in fraud case.” It named Meier specifically, mentioning briefly that the the plaintiffs were no longer pursuing claims against him.
Links:
Washington Examiner: Teachers, principals caught in fraud scandal
Alexandria Court Decision Dismissing Charges Against Meier and Defendants
Fairfax Times: Fairfax principals linked to North Carolina land scam

At this point, Meier is still principal of Robinson and is no longer a defendant in claims related to TRM fraud. The Fairfax Times reports that another case against the banks that decided to lend the money will come up in November.

Update: That Fairfax Times article contains better reporting than the Examiner, so I would suggest linking to that one in discussions from this point forward.
—–

Dan Meier and I go way back.

I mean, far back for a college student and a high school principal.

I think it was my freshman year in high school that Principal Ann Monday left Robinson Secondary which housed the 7th through 12th grades. It looks like she’s Superintendent of City Schools today, Jack Dale’s equivalent for the incorporated City of Fairfax. After a few months of having an awkward interim principal, her replacement was the big, smilin’, plain’-speakin’ Chantilly boy, Daniel Meier.

I was wary of him from day one.

In tenth grade, I was a staff writer gunning for the position of editor-in-chief of Robinson’s school newspaper, the Valor Dictus. With the arrival of this new authority figure, talking a lot of talk about keep kids “safe” and making sure they were “supervised,” I saw my chance to to play to media’s role of gatekeeper and be a thorn in his side.

I couldn’t really pin him on much.

I got my chance junior year as editorials editor for the VD. Meier had instituted a new lunch policy that, as I saw it, had the student body in an uproar. As I recall, rather than having luxuriously lengthy 45-minute long lunches we had been used to, Meier had decided to split the lunch shifts into three 30-minute periods. As a result, less students were at lunch at a time, which meant they could keep us all in the cafeteria. No more sneaking off to eat and liter outside or in the hallways.

We were indignant. We were furious. We were incensed.

We got used to it.

But I never let him off the hook for it. For at least three articles, usually editorials, I managed to arrange appointments with Dan Meier to grill him with tough questions that would expose him for the iron-fisted totalitarian I knew him to be. Questions like, “Why did the lunch policy change? What have students said about it? How does this make us safer?”

Yeah, I had him trembling in his boots.

Look at me. A regular Woodward AND Bernstein!

Meier was nothing if not a gifted politician. He managed to explain everything with simple logic even the most rebellious teenager could partially sympathize with. Not only that, but he was incredibly disarming. All smiles when he greeted you. A firm handshake. Memorized my name to call out in the hallways. And he gave me chocolate after each interview.

I always felt a few twinges of guilt as I bit into his blood candy.

Eventually as editor-in-chief, I had other problems besides toppling the administration. My last concrete memory of Dan Meier was shaking his hand at graduation, a moment etched into my mind because of the framed picture my parents keep in the living room. It’s possible we talked on one of the occasional visits I made to the school, maybe to get my IB diploma, but I managed to forget about him as the realities of college began to take priority.

Enter Total Realty Management, Mark Dain, and the Washington Examiner.

The Opinions section: It's what tells you that they're not part of the socialist liberal media machine.

One of my Robinson alumni Facebook friends linked the story. All I had to do was read the headline for the nostalgia gears to start turning. After giving up on ever finding anything interesting about the school principal that would have shaken up Robinson to its very core, here was some plump and meaty gossip that would have had high-school Phil crowing in delight.

So I let high-school Phil out for a while.

My initial comments in reaction to the headline and lead were…a bit asinine. To quote, my first online words were, “LOL! LOL! LOL!”

When I actually read past the lead, I started seeing how this was not as laugh-out-loud-able as I had thought. Particularly when it came to the bankruptcy news. Even from my biased perspective, I could sort of see how this went down.

Meier was an approachable person. And apparently had a great relationship with some students and the football players he coached at Chantilly High. One of these players was apparently Mark Dain. And Mark Dain had a deal for Coach Meier.

When I was in freshman year of college, my friend Robby Bob and I attended a seminar for something called Quixtar. They promised to make us a lot of money for minimal effort provided we just did a little bit of networking and signed up some people for a website. To this day, I still don’t know exactly how the venture claimed to generate money. Something about shopping online. But even at 18, with a strong desire to buy nice stuff for my first college girlfriend, I was able to see through Quixtar for what it was: a pyramid scheme. Robby Bob and I had to decline our mutual friend, who was trying to refer us.

See that first floor? You fill that first floor with more entrepreneurs, you make MORE money!

Okay, but what does this have to do with Dan Meier?

I’m just saying, the guy who pitched us the scam at the seminar was a high-energy, aimable, almost-convincing dude.

It was something Mr. Meier would have had a lot of fun doing.

But what he had to do first was purchase some property. And apparently he did. In the bankruptcy claim, Meier’s mortgage was said to include a lot for a mobile home. He owed Wells Fargo over $1 million.

Now, we can’t say whether or not he realized that he was being given a raw deal on whatever property he was mortgaging through Wells Fargo, acquired by TRM. But if he did find himself in a hole, it seems that Mr. Meier saw a limited number of options. One of those options could definitely have been working with Dain and gain a supplementary income (after all, his sons were going to college). And perhaps, as long as I’m speculating, in an effort to not completely accept that his recent realty investment was worthless, he convinced himself that TRM was in the business of giving good deals and making people money.

So, you see, I could imagine how Dan Meier was a victim. But I still reveled a little in the idea of my high school nemesis getting in trouble, minus the whole bankruptcy and total defamation of character thing, you know?

And then, in the midst of the Robinson alumni community being alternately shocked and amused at the debacle, a friend linked me to the August 28 opinion of the court that dismissed charges against Meier. And I remembered the initial friend who posted the story. She was adamantly emphasizing now that the Examiner was unreliable and known for slander.

The journalist in me was getting kind of antsy.

So I found a contact and started to look deeper, in an effort to be a good journalist and get to the heart of the matter. That’s where I got some documents linking Dan to several TRM sales as well as the bankruptcy claim. It was accusations all the way down. Nothing to really deny that my old principal was involved in this mess, but, as I pointed out, evidence that some of his recent dealings had landed him in financial trouble.

And then I simply Googled. And I found this.

….

“My kids are former Rams. They were in Robinson when Meier was using former students to defraud subordinates…with the help of his brother, another principal. Meier bought a $$$expensive house in Clifton a few years ago and I remember thinking that was odd.

Meier….GET OUT OF TOWN!!!”

“he messed up, he broke the law, and he will pay the price. but i still respect him, and he will always be the man who came to my help when i needed it most, and I didnt even need to ask twice. i believe he is a good man and i still respect him even through all of this. i know he will face the consequences no matter what they are. I pray for him and his family”

“The reality is that Robinson has steadily gone down hill since Ann Monday left the school in Meier’s hands. Dan Meier has consistently favored groups of students who severely and repeatedly violated SR&R around cheating, alcohol and drug use, especially athletes. His lack of action on an IB cheating incident in 2005 clearly demonstrated to students that he was not interested in doing the right thing – it helps when you are heading to Columbia….

Nothing made me happier in June than to have my last child out of FCPS and Robinson…karma is a bitch Dan…hope that your wife and kids find time to visit you in prison.”

“here’s something that the article didnt post. Dan Meier had made money buying lots from TRM previously, and currently owned 2 lots at the time of the so called fraud. He lost just as much money in the situation as the teachers accusing him of fraud. The fact of the matter is that this is a case of bad timing, the housing market crash and recession came simultaneously with these people buying their NC lots. While the situation is unfortunate, Dan and Tommy Meier should not be the scapegoat for these people losing money.”

“Meier should have the same ‘rights” as students. When he makes up his mind that they are wrong they are removed from class 3-5 days or more. Here is a man that needs to step aside, call it in school detention or whatever, he is judge & jury at the school, fair is fair. If he was the one who was the victim he would be sreaming the loudest. Dan Meier you are and always have been a lowlife, you (hopefully) will get all that is coming to you. I hope the BK is just the start. I hope your wife and kids will not be able to afford to come see you in prison”

…And I started to feel sort of sick.

Never mind the fact that this article, appearing out of nowhere two months after charges against Meier were dismissed and not pursued, clearly states that there is no interest in investigating him as a criminal. People are hoping that he gets jailed and cut off from his family? People are using their opinions on how he ran the school to justify wanting to see him financially ruined and imprisoned?

I started to remember my own initial comments and felt a pit in my stomach.

This is a messed-up world.

I was there for the 2005 cheating scandal. Luckily, my friends and I weren’t participants and I wasn’t affected directly. Some of my friends had to retake a tough exam, because the teachers weren’t sure how deep the cheating ring went. I was pretty peeved at how the school handled the disciplinary measures. And I know exactly who they’re talking about when that poster references the individual that his kid obviously hated more than I did. It certainly didn’t reflect well on Meier’s leadership. But, you know, it doesn’t reflect well on any of the administrators involved in the decision to slap these kids on the wrists.

And this is Fairfax County after all. How do you think one of these frothing parents would react if their kid was stripped of his advanced studies diploma, his chances to get into any respectable college, to be everything you promised him he could be? One word: Lawsuit.

The administration knew how the game was played. And what did it ultimately result in? Was it, at the end of the day, skin off my back? I chose not to apply to Columbia. I decided I wasn’t at that level (I sold myself short). No one took my spot in college. In fact, most of my class seemed content with where they were going. It’s the old cliche. The people the cheaters cheated most were themselves.

But, all this aside: What does this have to do with deciding a man deserves to have absolutely everything taken away? What justifies insulting a man’s family in a public forum and snapping at the first piece of news that paints him in a bad light?

I could ask myself many of these difficult questions. But I never fathomed bashing his wife and children on the Internet for every Googler to read. That’s the kind of vindictiveness that only the frustrations of putting a child through school in a suburb like Fairfax can elicit.

And then, finally, someone couldn’t stand it…

I’ve been reading the posts on this site for the past 24 hours, and up until this point I’ve been restraining myself from commenting. My name is Mike Meier, I’m Dan Meier’s oldest son, a Robinson Alum (2007), and currently a Yearling at the United States Military Academy at West Point.

At that point, I wonder how you would feel reading that if you had just expressed a wish that Mike Meier would never see his father again.

3 or 4 years ago my dad made an investment through a former student/ football player of his who had made a large amount of money buying and selling real estate, particularly in the North Carolina Coastal area. ….At first he was very skeptical to invest his money through TRM, but his former student assured him that he would eventually make money and would not regret his investment. Several months after buying his first lot, my dad sold it, making a nice amount of money….There was absolutely no illegal activity in this process, they were simply purchasing beachfront lots that were due to be developed within a few years, and selling the lots several months later, after the prices for the lots had raised. Simple real estate.

When asked about his experience, my dad gave true testimonials to others (often his friends and co-workers) about the success he had with TRM. Though he recommended others looking into this opportunity, he simply only referred other to TRM, and never handled any business personally. My dad would simply give the interested investors a point of contact for TRM if they were interested, and that was that. After receiving a large amount of business from people that my dad had referred to TRM, his former student began to write my dad several checks for customers he had referred…..Many of the people whom he referred to TRM were able to sell their lots and make decent amount of money. My dad was asked to give his personal testimonial on behalf of TRM at several business seminars, of which he was paid for. Again, nothing illegal. What I have explained up until this point is the extent of my dad’s interaction with TRM, and his involvement with this so-called “fraud”.

….What happened next in this situation, unfortunately was simply a case of bad timing. Many of these referred customers had bought lots from TRM, and were currently paying mortgage on them, waiting for their value to increase so that they could sell these lots. WHAT THE ARTICLE DID NOT MENTION was that along with these customers (predominately teachers and FCPS employees who heard about TRM through my dad or my uncle) was that my dad had bought 2 more lots from TRM and was paying mortgage on these lots, just like everyone else was. SO IF DAN MEIER KNEW HE WAS TRAPPING THESE TEACHERS INTO FRAUD, would it make sense for him to continue investing in TRM’s lots?

…Simultaneously with the purchasing of these new lots, last year’s housing market and economy collapse put a virtual freeze on buying across the nation. Though the value of these lots plummeted, along with every other asset in the real estate business, consumers were no longer willing to buy these properties, because nobody could afford it. ….AGAIN, I emphasize that my dad was stuck paying for these lots just like the rest of the people who eventually filed the lawsuit….

….THE LAWSUIT AGAINST MY DAD was thrown out by the judge in its preliminary hearing last month. The plaintiffs had no evidence of any wrongdoing or illegal activity by my father, and the judge stated that there simply was no case. Mrs. Pisner, the plaintiffs’ attorney contacted the Washington Examiner regarding the so called “fraud” that my dad and uncle were accused of being involved in. Though I’m not exactly sure what here motive was, I’m assuming it was to provide at least some sort of emotional compensation for her clients who had lost the case….I wonder how she will be able to go home and tell her son, a Robinson student, that she has professionally screwed Robinson’s beloved Mr. Meier (and all you RHS alum will admit, he is the man!). But unlike some of the posts above mine on this site, I am not going to make personal attacks at someone’s parent because I have been reading spiteful comments toward my father all day and trust me, it hurts….

So there you have it. Quotes from both sides. The perspective of a resentful parent-student body and of a son who obviously thinks much more highly of his dad.

I think a lot of us sort of wince when we read how adamant Mike is in claiming that nothing remotely illegal was going on. The courts might have determined that there wasn’t enough evidence to make a claim, but can we really bring ourselves to assume that Mark Dain’s company was completely on the level? Even on an ethical basis?

And let’s also be frank: Few people are completely and innocently hoodwinked into these kind of schemes. You buy into it expecting to get a good return. Apparently Mr. Meier did. But even if you don’t think it’s a bad idea for others, how many times do we have to be told that getting too greedy will leave you with nothing? These plaintiffs lost money when they thought they’d be getting lots of money. As the Feeley opinion linked in the facts-summary said: most of them probably knew they were taking a risk.

Not that someone isn’t ultimately at fault here.

But after digging as deep as I did — and finding some truly disturbing reactions to the situation, what I conclude shuts up the nostalgic side of me that initially laughed.

I have my reasons for not simply trusting the simple story that paints an individual in this type of scam as the mastermind. Usually, the mastermind is the one with the resources to get off scott free. In the excitement of validating my petty high school conflicts, I ignored what I knew about these types of cases. But I’m remembering what it’s like to be an adult again.

I think Dan Meier was a victim. Did he make some poor decisions? Certainly. Was there some avarice at work? I could see that. Can you absolve him of all blame? No. But who should really be the person hung out to dry here? Really, it looks like Mark Dain was the guy who lit the fuse on this bomb. His business went under, but where’s the article that says “Realtor caught in fraud case?”

Someone wanted to make sure Dan Meier lost even more than he already had. And after a man goes bankrupt in a case of this level, I don’t see how you can justify much more beyond this. He’s not Bernie Madoff. He’s this sometimes-slick, sometimes-goofy guy.

As for people calling for his resignation from my alma mater, I have my opinions, but I’ll keep those to myself. I felt like I owed it to the community to share the information I found. But I also owe it to the community to keep silent on some things.

I know, I know. As it is, I’ve probably already said too much. But I know I’m not a Robinson student anymore. I’m not the “Valor Dictus, that is” guy. My brother goes to TJ. The question of whether Dan Meier should remain as principal is not my battle. That should be up to the current community.

But, while there are a few possible interpretations to this story, do keep in mind that life isn’t that simple and this is hardly black or white. The older you get, the higher the stakes and the higher the stakes are, the worse your mistakes could be. I had my laugh at first and now I feel somewhat sorry for it. But hopefully I’ll take this with me the next time a snap judgment presents itself before me. As a truth-seeker, it’s not a good feeling to find out you were being an ignorant douche.

I know Robinson will go on and by next semester, it may be like nothing ever happened. High school is transient like that, in my experience. But I still wish the best for the Robinson community and hope that they’re keeping a more rational tone than the anonymous attackers on Fairfax Underground.

And, by chance, if Dan Meier gets to read this.

Thanks for the chocolate.

Podcast: Swine Flu to Balloon Boy

Two podcasts to make up for being off for five weeks.

The first is something I’m going to try each week: a run-down of top news stories concerning world events, health, the economy, etc.

Subject: Swine Flu

Famous 2009 strain of the influenza virus
Most common subtype known as H1N1
Known to hit teenagers and young adults harder than the regular flu
Considered at epidemic level in the United States after 2,000 cases since August 30
Links:
Wikipedia: Swine Flu
CDC: H1N1 Swine Flu
WHO: H1N1 Pandemic
AP: “Hitting early, swine flu claims 11 more kids in US”

Subject: Pakistan

South Asian country with strategic interest to the United States
Border with Afghanistan recently a target for U.S. and Pakistani military in attempts to eliminate the Taliban
Links:
Wikipedia: Pakistan
AP: Pakistan starts critical offensive against the Taliban

Subject: Troubled Asset Relief Program

The purchase and insurance of $700 billion in troubled assets from major companies and banking institutions following the 2008 economic crisis
Bank of America, one of the TARP beneficiaries, has recently lost $2.24 billion from unpaid loans
Links:
Wikipedia: T.A.R.P.
Wikipedia: Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008
AP: Bank of America loses $2.4B as loan losses rise

Podcast 3-1 – October 16, 2009

The second is the podcast form of Meme Killer. It talks about Falcon Heene a.k.a. Balloon Boy and the mediastorm that followed the alleged “hoax.”

Subject: Falcon “Balloon Boy” Heene

6-year-old son of media-familiar storm-chasing/UFO-seeking “psyentist”
Had been believed stuck inside a large homemade balloon that floated away last Thursday
Was actually hiding in a box in his attic
Media now convinced entire Balloon Boy story a hoax set up by the father
Child has been dragged on several news and variety shows, getting sick twice on live television
Links:

Wikipedia: Colorado Balloon Incident
AP: Father of boy in balloon saga meets with officers
URLesque: Balloon Boy: quickest meme ever?

Podcast 3-2: Balloon Boy, the ultimate Troll

I would have done what I did for Kanye and killed the Balloon Boy meme, but URLesque did it for me:

Those are your podcasts for the weekend. I’ll be back after I’m caught up with school.

Tonight: Virginia Tech football at 6:00 P.M.

Hey, GT….

SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!

The Gutting of the Nobel Peace Prize

So this has already been consumed by a media firestorm, but as my political coverage has been lacking this semester, I figure I owe it to the blog to weigh in with my expert opinion.

On Friday, President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.

….What?

President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for “his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples,” the Norwegian Nobel Committee said, citing his outreach to the Muslim world and attempts to curb nuclear proliferation.The stunning choice made Obama the third sitting U.S. president to win the Nobel Peace Prize and shocked Nobel observers because Obama took office less than two weeks before the Feb. 1 nomination deadline. Obama’s name had been mentioned in speculation before the award but many Nobel watchers believed it was too early to award the president.

Speculation had focused on Zimbabwe’s Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, a Colombian senator and a Chinese dissident, along with an Afghan woman’s rights activist.

The Nobel committee praised Obama’s creation of “a new climate in international politics” and said he had returned multilateral diplomacy and institutions like the U.N. to the center of the world stage. The plaudit appeared to be a slap at President George W. Bush from a committee that harshly criticized Obama’s predecessor for resorting to largely unilateral military action in the wake of the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

Fact: Al Gore invented the Nobel Prize for Not Being George W. BusSh

Subject: Barack Obama

President of the United  States of America
Recipient of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize
Story so far:
- set a January 2010 deadline to close Guantanamo Bay…experts doubt that deadline can be met
- declared an end date for the Iraq War: all troops out by the end of 2011
- considering whether to send more troops to Afghanistan, a war without an end date
- has not revoked “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy barring open homosexuals from military service
- has retained the right for the Executive Branch to determine when releasing “state secrets” would harm national security
- has declared that some terrorism suspects detained without trial shall receive due process, while those classified as too dangerous will not
- successfully stopped the potentially wasteful missile defense shield in Eastern Europe…Russia follows by scrapping its own missile escalation in Poland
- has proposed a public option for healthcare reform…met with stiff opposition
- has kept Bo the dog alive for six months
Links: Wikipedia: Barack Obama
WhiteHouse.gov
FactCheck.org: Barack Obama

Subject: Nobel Peace Prize

Prize to be awarded “to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.”

Created, along with four other categories, by Alfred Nobel, an arms manufacturer and the inventor of dynamite. He reportedly wanted to leave behind a better legacy.

Awarded by the Norwegian Nobel Committee, composed of five members nominated by the Norwegian parliament. It’s understood that the committee often represents the politics of the parliament.

2009 awarded to Barack Obama
Other potential recipients:
- Sima Samar, head of the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission and advocate of women’s rights
- Piedad Cordoba, Colombian senator that helped negotiate the release of guerilla hostages and is currently being harassed by the Colombian government (also, my homegirl, represent)
- Hu Jia, Chinese dissident and advocate for people suffering of HIV/AIDS, serving 3.5 years in prison for opposition to Chinese government
Links: NobelPrize.org
List of Nobel Peace Prize Laureates

—-

So this entire situation is raising two conflicting feelings in Phil:

1. Disappointment in seeing politics interfere with a potentially significant statement for civil rights campaigners across the globe
2. Nausea at the idea of being associated with wingnut commentators who are going to pounce on this to blindly attack Obama

Welp, good job criticzing Obama for losing the Chicago Olympic bid, I wonder what's....Wait, what? Really? You're not joking? Oh, hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

Well, first, let’s make sure it’s abundantly clear: Obama didn’t ask for this. Or, if he was his own secret nominator, he was really stupid. What this does is highlight his shaky track record. Would you rather get paraded on stage before or after you’ve had the chance to push some difficult policies? Or at least had the chance to politically spin it more in your favor? Right now, speculation on his presidency is dominated by the right wing and they’re loving it. I’m sure Obama would have loved to had the chance to shut them up before receiving the prize (not that the extreme right wing knows how to stop running its collective trap).

I wouldn’t be surprised if a neoconservative organization didn’t nominate Obama itself, hoping the good ol’ liberal Norwegians would pick their man and basically embarrass American Obama-supporters.

So, no, I don’t think Obama’s guilty of grandstanding or glory-hogging. Hell, if he refused the prize, that would unfortunately just make the situation worse by “denying America a great honor” and coming off as if he had no confidence in his abilities to accomplish this so-called peace. He can’t win.

Now, I voted for President Obama. Obama is still my man, albeit my increasingly frustrating man. But I don’t think he deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. Honestly, the way things are going, I doubt he would ever deserve the Peace Prize.

Only two other sitting Presidents have received the prize. Teddy Roosevelt won it for stopping a conflict between the Russians and the Japanese. Woodrow Wilson won it for the formation of the U.N.’s predecessor, the League of Nations. Ironically, both were involved in wars: the Spanish-American War and World War I respectively. But at least there were observable, global-scale accomplishments on their record.

It is rumored that the Committee didn't want to risk angering Roosevelt, for fear of getting clubbed over by his Big Stick.

And even taking that into consideration, I don’t think a sitting President should ever be eligible for the Nobel Peace Prize. Why? Because he commands  a f***ing huge army. Kind of goes against Nobel’s proclaimed goal of abolishing or reducing standing armies, doesn’t it?

Listen, I acknowledge the need to have the President be Commander in Chief and also the difficulty of that position. Progressive that I am, I can’t deny that we would be thoroughly screwed in global politics if we didn’t have the military that we did. But on most days, I almost think it’s worth it to completely slash its power in favor of diplomacy and aid missions. But you and I know that that won’t happen in our lifetimes, not with the stranglehold defense interests have over our government. So I acknowlege that it’s not like Barack Obama can just bring all the troops back home and bow out from the wars his predecessors started.

I’m just saying that it unfortunately means that neither he, nor any other sitting U.S. President, should win the God damn Nobel Peace Prize.

For all the good a President can do, the forces that respond to him unfortunately do plenty of damage to counter it. Since Obama’s been President, how many civilians have died in predator drone attacks on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border? How many falsely imprisoned detainees are still sitting in a cell without official charges? How have we been treating Iran, who had the gall of trying to develop another nuclear power facility with its scary nuclear technology which would be completely obliterated by our own nuclear arsenal?

Obama has talked big and he has made some marked improvements over Dubya…but talking isn’t enough. And there is still much, much, much more work to be done before we can fully atone for our wrongs. Meanwhile, there were several nominees who needed support and were dedicating their entire lives to peaceful causes, rather than balancing their vision of peace with the practical needs of a global superpower.

Now, many people take their opportunity to be smug pricks and say that the Nobel Peace Prize hasn’t been a big deal, especailly since Laureate X got chosen. It’s always been simply a political tool and a poorly veiled one. Stop making such a big fuss about it, you silly establishment followers.

To them, I say shut it.

Yes, I appreciate the irony of a Peace Prize named for an arms manufacturer. I’m aware that choices are heavily influenced by that five-member committee’s values. But I don’t think that means you should completely throw away whatever credibility or significance the Prize has left. Really influential people have been laureates in the past: the Dalai Lama, Desdmond Tutu, Martin Luther King Jr. and the fourth President to receive the prize, Jimmy Carter, who received it almost thirty years after his term.

Reaganites love to scoff at the Carter award (almost as much as they Roffle at Al Gore’s 2007 reception). But they’re ignoring the fact that unlike their favorite Leader of the Free World, Carter dedicated his civilian life to helping people at home and abroad, trying to solve conflicts in North Korea, the Middle East, Africa, Cuba, Venezula, and my family’s country of origin, Colombia. He established the Carter Center for human rights in Atlanta. Once he shed off the nastiness of politics and bureaucracy, he was able to actually accomplish more than the office of President would ever allow him to do.

He was doing this before Japanese tourists made it fashionable.

Carter deserved to be recognized, as did most past Laureates. So I don’t buy the claim that the Prize is meaningless. Nor do I accept that this is the same as honoring past Laureates who haven’t actually brought about the change they’ve been tryin to enact, Rachel Maddow. Civil rights abuses may still be going on in China, the climate may still be changing, and poverty and sufering may still exist, but the people who are the ground soldiers in that battle are accomplishing more than the figurehead of the World Police can at this point. I don’t buy the claim that Obama’s simple change in tone is enough to raise him to that caliber of accomplishment.

Are there times when I see him as a potentially revolutionary President? Yes. Do I think he’s improved our diplomacy and foreign policy approaches? Yes. But, then again, just because George W. Bush set the standards  so low, doesn’t mean the international community should idolize Obama for making reasonable improvements. Much, much more should be done before a sitting U.S. President can deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. Especially in this environment of bloody wars, civil rights abuses, and general global chaos.

Let the Preisdent do his job. And stop belittling efforts to honor peace advocates to patting your favorite political celebrities on the back. There’s too much at stake.

Well, what’s done is done and I’m sure Fox News will have something else to rail about in the coming weeks.

Maybe Obama will dress up as Stalin for Halloween.

Toy Story 3 Trailer + Radiohead Album

Two posts planned today. This one, entertainment-based.

Subject: Toy Story

Critically and commercially successful children’s film franchise
Disney/Pixar, Tom Hanks as Woody, Tim Allen as Buzz Lightyear
Third installment to be released June 18, 2010 in 3-D
Backstory:
Toy Story 3 was almost produced by a different Disney CGI studio, Circle 7 Animation, following a rift between Disney and original production studio Pixar. The Circle 7 storyline, involving a Buzz Lightyear recall, was shelved after Disney acquired Pixar and put Pixar creative heads Edwin Catmull and John Lasseter in charge of the TS3 project. Thus, the third film will still be helmed by Pixar Animation.
Links:
IMDB: Toy Story 3,
RottenTomatoes: Toy Story
RottenTomatoes: Toy Story 2
Netflix: Toy Story & Netflix: Toy Story 2
So Toy Story 3 narrowly avoided being mangled by the decisions of a ravenous corporate media conglomerate, or so the story goes. Even under Pixar, nostalgia-purists probably feel somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of the Toy Story movie stepping into full-on three-quel franchise territory. I remember as a kid in 1999, I had my doubts about Toy Story 2 before entering the theater. Luckily, if there’s one thing you can rely on, it’s Pixar’s attention to detail and reverence for their legends. Toy Story 2 was a fantastic sequel which in some ways surpassed the original, adding characters like Jesse the Cowgirl and Bullseye the Horse.

With the release of a full trailer for the third movie, speculation can begin:

EDIT: As you can see, Disney decided that it was TOO EARLY FOR PUBLICITY and took down the video. CinemaBlend says Disney will link them with a legal version on Monday.

So the initial premise seems very interesting. Andy goes off to college, a fact the toys accepted at the end of the last movie, leaving the fate of the toys and their community in question. Apparently, they’re donated to some school for kids with ADD leading to the chuckle-worthy toy-abuse scenes. On the whole, I feel like I’ve seen this plot before, in bits and pieces. Sid, anyone?

Also, the trailer treats us to a preview of the latest off-his-rocker iteration of Buzz Lightyear, Spanish Buzz Lightyear.

Now, I don’t want to come off as a stick-in-the-rear, righteously-offended minority, but really? It’s 2009. Their main source of humor is going to be Tim Allen speaking in a bad Spanish accent? What, they couldn’t make a deal with Hasbro and throw in toy versions of Skids and Mudflap to give white people the maximum opportunity to laugh at minority-culture?

Well, I’m not really offended, since there is, rather disturbingly, this push for more and more toys to be bilingual.

Now I'm going to teach you how to say, "I feel that this school pageant discriminates against our fellow Americans' heritage!"

I am somewhat disappointed that, rather than allowing the “Buzz Lightyear toys have built in delusional eccentricities” plot to lie down, they keep defibrilating it to milk some more slapstick out of it.

But I have faith. Even if this is the worst Toy Story movie in the franchise, it will be better than 90% of choices for children’s movies. Essentially, Pixar’s only competition is itself, which may prove to be a bad thing down the road, but for now results in quality flick after quality flick (if you ignore Cars.)

Subject: Radiohead

Commercially and critically successful anti-musical establishment rock band
Thom Yorke – vocals, Jonny Greenwood – lead guitar, Ed O’Brien – guitar & vocals, Colin Greenwood – bass, Phil Selway – drums

Ed O’Brien claims the band will be working on a new album this winter, after Thom Yorke implied they were done with the traditional recording process
Backstory:
After Radiohead independently (i.e. without a record label) released their seventh studio album, 2007’s In Rainbows, through the surprising “name your price” digital download campaign, the album charted well in sales and critical reception, proving that Radiohead was bigger than Jesus, or at least the Jesus of the Corporate Recording Industry. This year, NME reported on Thom Yorke’s flirtation with the death of LP:

“None of us want to go into that creative hoo-ha of a long-play record again. Not straight off,” [Yorke] told The Believer magazine.

“I mean, it’s just become a real drag. It worked with In Rainbows because we had a real fixed idea about where we were going. But we’ve all said that we can’t possibly dive into that again. It’ll kill us.”

Yorke added that Radiohead “need to get away” from releasing albums in the traditional format.

Instead, he hinted that the band may release new music via EPs or online.

Much to fans’ relief, Ed O’Brien told NME that the band was “misquoted” and that they would be releasing an album in 2010, leaving us to wonder if Radiohead is trying to set out to redefine the concept of an “interview” as “f***ing with reporters and fans.”

Also, Thom Yorke is starting a band with Flea, bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, implying that his entire existence is some sort of entertaining performance piece.

Links:
Official Website
Wikipedia: Radiohead
AllMusic: Radiohead
LaLa: Radiohead

As someone who accidentally bought In Rainbows for $30 (I had the pound-dollar conversion backwards…tricky Radiohead), I very much believe they are one of the greatest bands of all time and that their universal appeal is largely deserved (even if I can’t get completely into some of their Kid A/Amnesiac stuff). So it’s good news that they won’t limit themselves to 30-minute releases, orchestral or otherwise. They’re one of the few bands you can rely on to release something different each time.

Also, hey, maybe Flea will appear on it.

The new Radiohead album shall be called FUNKY-FUNK.

That’s your entertainment news for this Saturday.

PtP’s Fall Shows – Hulu rots your brain

Lost aside, for a while there I had successfully escaped the clutches of the boob tube (usually the only boob that wanted something to do with  me).

What college student has time for normal television anymore, really? You have to show up at this time to spend a significant amount of time watching stuff you don’t want just so you can walk away feeling like you’ve accomplished nothing? College students already have a term for that — it’s called class.

And then Hulu came around.

Is it bad that this sort of makes Eliza Dushku hotter?

Not only Hulu, but Hulu Desktop. The fact that I don’t have to sacrifice my browser’s capacities in order to watch online television has officially reintroduced me to the traditional definition of a couch potato. I now watch several shows a week.

Now, most television is still a steaming pile of horse manure, but there are some shows that are blipping on my radar as programming with a brain wave.

Dollhouse

Season: 2
Network and airtime: Fridays. FOX. 9:00 P.M. (Hulu)
Reasons to watch: Joss Whedon’s story-crafting and strong characters, interesting philosophical questions, some of the hottest women on screen: Eliza Dushku, Dichen Lachman and Olivia Williams.

I watched the entirety of Season 1 when Dino bought it on Blu-Ray. I intented to watch only a few episodes, but it quickl became imperative to watch the whole thing. The storyline is addictive, the characters superb in their wit and abilities, and Eliza Dushku not only gets to show off how attractive she is, but also her ability to play several roles in a single series.

The premise centers around an underground operation that takes in “volunteers” for a limited-term contract. During that term, the “employees” are mind-wiped, becoming a shell in which any engineered personality can be implanted. These dolls or “actives” are contracted out to rich people for ludicrous amounts of money, but for some it’s a small price to pay for an often-beautiful made-to-order expert in anything the client needs. The engagements run the gamut from basic escort service to bounty hunters to gifted psychology specialists…anything the resident personality engineer can program based on a vast database of human brains.

As season 2 opens, the show’s protagonist, an active named Echo, is becoming self-aware and remembering the feelings left over from personality imprints. Meanwhile, the Dollhouse’s parent company, the Rossum Coroporation, is coming under scrutiny from a zealous Senator.

Unfortunately, the future of Dollhouse looks precarious. The show was in danger of cancellation due to low ratings (since, you know, a Friday night timeslot is where you put something you expect to do well?) A combination of impending fan ire and healthy DVD sales granted Dollhouse a second season…still on Friday nights. There’s no real telling how long FOX’s tolerance for low ratings will last, but the network’s fear of Whedonites’ wrath might keep the show alive. FOX still hasn’t shaken off the bad press from crapping all over Whedon’s Firefly.

If you’re new to the show, Hulu has a season one recap leading up to the season finale, also available on Hulu until the fifth episode of season two airs.
Heroes

Season: 4
Network and airtime: Mondays. NBC. 8:00 P.M. (Hulu)
Reasons to watch: Lowering levels of Suck.

I admit I quit on Heroes mid season 3 somewhere around the time the super soldier serum was going to be given out or something weird like that. Once Kristen Bell was written out of the show, I failed to see the point in this terribly plotted, predictable comic book knock-off.

I gave the season 4 premiere a shot thanks to Hulu Desktop and actually wasn’t terribly offended. Sylar’s body currently thinks it’s Nathan Petrelli while Sylar’s mind survives in Matt Parkman, bugging the crap out of him. Meanwhile Peter has decided to become a superhero EMT, Claire has gone off to college, and Hiro and Ando have started their own Dial-a-Hero company. The new villain is a terrakinetic-slash-ink-manipulator Irish dude with mysterious intentions…

The acting is still subpar, but the direction of the plot doesn’t seem as terribly stale. Plus Claire is still hot and Hiro is still awesome. So, for their sake, I’ll watch until the season tanks.

On Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/heroes

How I Met Your Mother

Season: 5
Network and airtime: Mondays. CBS. 8:00 P.M.
Reasons to watch: It’s the hotness of the Friends characters, but with wittier jokes and a unique narrative frame.

HIMYM is a sitcom told from the perspective of Ted Mosby, who is telling his teenagers the longest story ever in the year 2030. By Season 5, friends-since-college Marshall and Lilly are still happily married and fellow bar-frequenters Barney and Robin have started something that resembles a relationship. Ted has accepted a position as architecture professor at Columbia University, which is supposedly where he’ll meet the Mother.

So far the season is actually starting a little poorly. The Barney-Robin dynamic has been diminished by the uncharacteristic relationship drama. And since that’s primarily what the show wants to focus on, there’s not much to say about Ted, Marshall and Lilly. But the show has earned the benefit of the doubt, so I can only assume that hilarity will continue to ensue.

CBS only airs the last couple of episodes on their website, but, uh…I managed to see the first four seasons for free online. I don’t think it’s wise to link directly, but may I suggest Googling some combination of the words “Mother” “How” “Met” “Your” “I” “Free” “Online?”

House

Season: 6
Network and airtime: Mondays. FOX. 8:00 P.M. (Hulu)
Reasons to watch: Hugh Laurie, the reliability of the House formula.

Well, lets be honest. To me, 90% of House episodes are the same. Cold open on unknown characters who suffer a dramatic medical episode, forty minutes of wrong diagnoses, the occasional inter-diagnostic team hook-up, and finally House figures it out, often saving the patient.

But the episodes that aren’t formula are some of the best television I’ve seen. Most recently, the season premiere, where House tries to outsmart his psychiatrists following his breakdown in season 5. As for dramatic story arcs, after the surprise departure of Kal Penn, there are still 5 supporting characters that are expendable (they’ll never kill or permanently fire Cuddy or Wilson…I hope).

On Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/house

Glee

Season: 1
Network and airtime: Wednesdays. FOX. 9:00 P.M. (Hulu)
Reasons to watch: Some epic musical performances from talented voices, the deliciously evil Evanna Lynch, the atmospheric a-capella background singing.

All right, at first it seems like a gimmicky 90210. We’ve seen our share of high school shows and Glee is actually replete with familiar stereotypes: the unrealistically beautiful nerd girl vs. the cheerleader, the scrawny kid going out for the football team, teen pregnancy threatening college aspirations, etc. etc.

But there’s a sharp wit to the scenes in Glee and just enough off-beat geekiness to make it fresh. The show centers around the revival of a high school show choir by Spanish teacher and glee club alum, Will Shuster. He quickly acquires some star performers, including the quarterback of the football team, but has a long road before being able to compete at nationals. At home, Shuster’s wife goes through a hysterical pregnancy, which keeps Will from acting on his mutual attraction with the cute, obsessive-compulsive guidance counselor, Emma.

Though the plot is riddled with cliches, each actor brings heart and charm to their parts. Part of the fascination is in seeing which clique the glee club will absorb next on the path to its inevitable dominance of the high school. Each episode has several musical numbers, sampling contemporary music like Kanye West’s “Gold Digger” and Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” and turning them into Glee show stoppers.

So, while it might be slightly embarassing for a dude to enjoy a show about show choirs and high school so much, I’m definitely continuing to indulge in this guilty pleasure.

On Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/glee

The Office

Season: 6
Network and air time: Thursdays. NBC. 9:00 P.M. (Hulu)
Reasons to watch: Because it’s like hot cocoa in the winter, something reliable that brings you comfort and makes you feel at home. Also, Jenna Fischer.

Some argue that The Office has passed its prime and should be allowed a dignified death. But like Michael Scott convinced that he is doing something right, even with much assurance that he is wrong, the show marches on, finding new ways to shake up the workday at Dundler Mifflin paper company. Office life is also getting more complex as Jim, expecting a baby with fiance Pam, gets promoted to co-manager, much to Dwight Schrute’s chagrin.

While it’s true that the show is visibly aging with less standout moments than its season 3 peak, I still love The Office for its solid ability to deliver on laughs and awkward situations. Steve Carrel is consistent in his almost unbearably socially inept portrayal of Michael and every other office member slips back into his or her role comfortably.

While we may have seen the most original moments of the series go by, there is still some story to tell and in its sixth year, the American Office has become a source of stability and nostalgia.

On Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/the-office

Community

Season: 1
Network and airtime: Thursdays. NBC. 8:00 P.M.
Reasons to watch: I can’t quite put my finger on it…probably witnessing steady improvement over time. Also, Abed and Troy at the end of episodes.

There’s no denying that this show’s pilot was god-awful. Not even The Soup’s Joel McHale saved it from its forced and tired execution. But as the show has progressed, you notice that the humor gets a little more original and the characters get much more likeable.

The show heavily features Jeff, a suspended lawyer who isn’t used to working hard to get anything. He’s at community college trying to find the quickest and easiest way to get a degree worthy of the Colorado state bar. There, he tries to woo archetypal independent hottie Britta by lying about his Spanish tutoring skills. Britta catches on to him and traps him by forming a study group composed of an odd assortment of characters ranging from the slightly autistic cinephile Abed to the not-senile-enough-to-justify-lack-of-tact older gentleman Pierce, played by Chevy Chase.

As a college student, I can appreciate some of the jabs, even if Greendale is a community college. Zealous student activisits and misguided “impact” professors should be familiar to anyone who has spent time on a campus. At first, the cast composition seems insufferably dull and the acting mediocore. While it’s novel to see Chevy Chase on the small screen, his bufoonery seems run-of-the-mill awkward-old-guy.

Looking past that, it might be all the TV rotting my brain, but I started outright laughing a lot more at jokes starting in episode 3. My suggestion is to skip the pilot and start watching at the second episode. We’ll compare notes.

On Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/community
That should be it for the TV I watch this season (I hope). I tried watching the pilot to Flash Forward and that turned out awful. Bad dialogue, bad acting, yawn-inducing execution of a global disaster. Not at all like Lost.

…Sigh, it’ll be nice to only bother watching one show again.